


Location, Location, Location

by bloodscout



Series: 18 incredibly impressive ficlets written for the 18th birthday of the frighteningly fabulous fishoutofcustard [13]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: As shippy as the book, Ficlet, Fluff, Gen, House Buying, Humor, Sushi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-18
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 21:59:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/643395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodscout/pseuds/bloodscout
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Angel,’ Crowley said over sushi one day. ‘Do you think I should invest in a holiday house?’<br/>Aziraphale chewed on his sashimi thoughtfully. He swallowed, then made a peculiar hmm-ing noise. ‘Whereabouts were you thinking of buying?’</p>
            </blockquote>





	Location, Location, Location

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lucie (fishoutofcustard)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Lucie+%28fishoutofcustard%29).



> This is the 13th fic of the 18 fics I wrote for [Lucie's](fishoutofcustard.tumblr.com) 18th birthday. Of course, the 13th had to be everyone's favourite demon.

‘Angel,’ Crowley said over sushi one day. ‘Do you think I should invest in a holiday house?’

Aziraphale chewed on his sashimi thoughtfully. He swallowed, then made a peculiar hmm-ing noise. ‘Whereabouts were you thinking of buying?’ he asks, punctuating his question with a tap of his chopsticks on the plate.

Crowley flicked a forked tongue out, needlessly wetting his lips. ‘Perhaps Scotland.’

Aziraphale nods, and picks up another piece of fish. It hovers in front of his lips as the though occurs to him. ‘Not to close to Edinburgh, please, dear. It can get awfully loud.’

Crowley shook his head. ‘Oh, no, I didn’t mean _in_ Scotland. I meant all of it. The whole thing.’

Aziraphale’s mouth would have dropped right open, if it wasn’t positively indecorous. ‘Crowley!’ he chastised. ‘You can’t do that!’

The demon was thoroughly confused. ‘Whyever not? They don’t seem to want to be part of the UK. I’d be doing them a favour.’

Aziraphale was a little shocked, because he couldn’t deny that it was true. He huffed stubbornly, though, sure that he was right and Crowley was wrong. ‘You can’t buy a whole country, Crowley. No anymore.’

Crowley snorted. ‘Please, angel. Hell bought Australia a long time ago. Do you really think it was your lot that came up with all those hideous creatures?’ he took a sip of his green tea. ‘There’s a reason it’s call a thorny devil, you know.’

Aziraphale clears his throat. ‘Even so,’ he said primly. ‘I cannot allow it. You mustn’t buy Scotland or I… or I…’ Aziraphale struggled to think of an appropriate insult. It was highly amusing to Crowley, who had to bite his cheek with sharpened teeth to stop from smiling. ‘Or I will tell all your plants how to contact the nearest domestic abuse help service, and they will all report you for emotional abuse.’ he finished, with a righteous nod of his head.

Crowley clapped his hands, and waived over a waiter to bring the bill. ‘Well done, angel! Very good.’ He slapped a few notes into the waiter’s hand – which will turn out the be the exact change, despite the fact that there are no coins – and followed Aziraphale out of the restaurant. ‘I’m still buying Scotland.’ Crowley told him, and grinned at the shock on his counterparts’ face.

‘Come now.’ he said, and proffered an arm for Aziraphale to link into. ‘We must go see the real estate agent.’

Aziraphale covered his face with his free hand. ‘Really, my dear boy, are you sure you want to do this?’

Crowley pulled down his shades to look upon the angel with disbelieving yellow eyes. ‘Do I _sound_ unsure?’

‘No, not at all! It’s just… the mortgage will be absolutely hideous.’

The corner of Crowley’s mouth turned up at that, and he settled his sunglasses back onto the bridge of his nose. ‘What that a joke, my dear?’ he said, and Aziraphale could hear the smile in his voice without even having to look over.

‘You know, my love,’ Aziraphale said, a playful lilt to his voice. ‘I do believe that was.’


End file.
